Time : Before back 9.
Place : Chilling area with drinks.
Characters : Me - The author's character in this story, Friend 1 - A friend of mine, Friend 2 - Another friend of mine, Wizard - A friend of mine with magic ability.
"You guys want anything? beer?" I asked.
"I want every fucking thing in the world." said Friend 1.
"Easy as cake." Wizard answered.
Ding! Wizard magic effect on Friend 1.
Everyone stare at Friend 1, eyes wide shut.
Friend 2 turn to Wizard.
"Can I have every NON-fucking thing in the world?" Friend 2 asked.
"No problem." Wizard said.
Ding! Wizard magic effect on Friend 2.
Everyone stare at Friend 2, mouth open, speechless, then Wizard turn to me.
"First, I beg you please send them to places where they change. Second, some beer, a spotted screen EV with fat canal and a couch." I said.
"OK...... I'd better be on time for my date, see ya." Wizard said.
Ding! Wizard magic effect on Friend 1, Friend 2.
Ding! Wizard magic effect on Me, wizard left.
Change scene to "Pornography, D.U.I. and Bingo" I mean flat screen TV with sports channel!!!
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Apr 20, 2010
Jun 1, 2009
I support marriage I understand, therefore I am
I support my marriage; I understand.
Because I sure will remember my honey moon and actions within.
They are my pornography, sitting in its category.
Since I am neither a show businesses nor policy profession.
In my simple mind, the closest description is plagiarized from the adult entertainment's categorization "Softcore/Hardcore/Gay/Lesbian......etc."
Adding that it took two ayes for threesome and three ayes for foursome.
By coordinating that prop with balanced payload.
...Loading...
...Loading...
...Loading...
A couple, both bi-sexual.
...unload the melting pot module? [ (Yes) (No) ]...
Because I sure will remember my honey moon and actions within.
They are my pornography, sitting in its category.
Since I am neither a show businesses nor policy profession.
In my simple mind, the closest description is plagiarized from the adult entertainment's categorization "Softcore/Hardcore/Gay/Lesbian......etc."
Adding that it took two ayes for threesome and three ayes for foursome.
By coordinating that prop with balanced payload.
...Loading...
...Loading...
...Loading...
A couple, both bi-sexual.
...unload the melting pot module? [ (Yes) (No) ]...
Apr 11, 2009
GoalfKeeper
Bleed too much/less/soon/late that fluctuate plasma recovery, therefore this juke box toast.
Woodwind-Clarinet
Receiving non-medical attention then black/blue blood transfusion from Ink-barrel Care Unit.
Rock-Metal
Put down the pants, relax, Android......oops enjoy.
Sweet-Love
My loosen handkerchief, is "allways" on ready.
Woodwind-Clarinet
Receiving non-medical attention then black/blue blood transfusion from Ink-barrel Care Unit.
Rock-Metal
Put down the pants, relax, Android......oops enjoy.
Sweet-Love
My loosen handkerchief, is "allways" on ready.
Feb 26, 2009
My lack of computer knowledge
Due to the fact that my lack of computer knowledge, or knowledge in real world. I am way behind computer guru, please forgive me.
In my shallow mind, this is what computer to me:
I have a copper wire on hand, bending it into a circle and have one end touching the cathode and the other end to the anode of a 12v battery. Then I open the circuit by cutting the wire, have an end of the wire conducting the light bulb's screw and the other end conducting the bottom.
Here I have a closed circuit in serial connection with a battery and a light bulb give out light and heat. Let input be the power, and process by light bulb, then heat and light are output. In computer terms "A serial bus system powered by a potable power source in full throttling of a light bulb processor with tungsten technology, producing 1-bit of light/full spectrum wireless visual signal without interrupt as output(infra red is within the full spectrum that give out heat from the bulb, which is vacuum)".
Outdated knowledge, that's all I know, and I am cheap without putting in the switch. Toasters have wires in parallel, but too complicate for me and rather have shortenings on the bread. Sorry I pretend that I am a guru to be closer with the modern world of technology, like the hybrid silicon laser I see on the news.
For what? I don't know what's like shrinking from a room full of mirror into etching a silicon fiber optic circuitry recharge pad causing photons arrive at different time, and/or different place that could refill the hat? Seriously I don't know nothing about these things.
But let's see "hybrid" that's hot right now everywhere, "silicon" the mirror for snort, "laser" rave party time. I use laser to cut in the club, see this is my kind of cool marketing.
In my shallow mind, this is what computer to me:
I have a copper wire on hand, bending it into a circle and have one end touching the cathode and the other end to the anode of a 12v battery. Then I open the circuit by cutting the wire, have an end of the wire conducting the light bulb's screw and the other end conducting the bottom.
Here I have a closed circuit in serial connection with a battery and a light bulb give out light and heat. Let input be the power, and process by light bulb, then heat and light are output. In computer terms "A serial bus system powered by a potable power source in full throttling of a light bulb processor with tungsten technology, producing 1-bit of light/full spectrum wireless visual signal without interrupt as output(infra red is within the full spectrum that give out heat from the bulb, which is vacuum)".
Outdated knowledge, that's all I know, and I am cheap without putting in the switch. Toasters have wires in parallel, but too complicate for me and rather have shortenings on the bread. Sorry I pretend that I am a guru to be closer with the modern world of technology, like the hybrid silicon laser I see on the news.
For what? I don't know what's like shrinking from a room full of mirror into etching a silicon fiber optic circuitry recharge pad causing photons arrive at different time, and/or different place that could refill the hat? Seriously I don't know nothing about these things.
But let's see "hybrid" that's hot right now everywhere, "silicon" the mirror for snort, "laser" rave party time. I use laser to cut in the club, see this is my kind of cool marketing.
Feb 18, 2009
Steroid Olympic
Imagine a competition that no one call foul and in a true sense of fairness. Well I think we already have it, let's just call it Steroid Olympic, I seems to have forgotten the name of it.
In this game, fair is achieved by letting everyone cheat as they can.
A device to train any specific muscle for strength? Great!
A program to provide the perfect mix of nutrition the body needs? Super!
A drug to improve the performance? Take it all you can!
Hey its not like the game will change in any way. A champion can still be distinguish and everyone must agree, its all in a sense of fairness because no one can beat him down even with cheats. Another good thing is, the champion title stays like prom king and queen of that year class, is on forever royalties.
Errrrr........OK, in reality the king will merry his wife and the queen will merry her husband, separately, with different people. (Should there be more adjective like beauty or?......its fine.)
I know who can approve this joke, Republicans.
In this game, fair is achieved by letting everyone cheat as they can.
A device to train any specific muscle for strength? Great!
A program to provide the perfect mix of nutrition the body needs? Super!
A drug to improve the performance? Take it all you can!
Hey its not like the game will change in any way. A champion can still be distinguish and everyone must agree, its all in a sense of fairness because no one can beat him down even with cheats. Another good thing is, the champion title stays like prom king and queen of that year class, is on forever royalties.
Errrrr........OK, in reality the king will merry his wife and the queen will merry her husband, separately, with different people. (Should there be more adjective like beauty or?......its fine.)
I know who can approve this joke, Republicans.
Nov 23, 2008
Energy
The following are things that I think about, rather then past issues that being used for another purposes, it is ridiculous in a way that these jokes evolve spiritually to become solutions.
Global warming
The world is warming, ice cape is melting and the summer suit of the overly tanned finally get a chance to put on. In order to keep the difficulty level of ski slopes, just put some solar panel to give the snow a shade to chill out, they generate electricity, keeping pro ski and snow boarding too.
Solar panel
How come these sun glass panel consume slow, generate low and last long. My ideal panel would last a month, using consumable material and generate in high efficiency. Making gas station change to solar charge battery swap station become a possibility. Battery are kept cool in underground, recharge by high generating panel. The gasoline truck then deliver those lighter then battery itself solar panel to those charging station refilling consumed ones. Refinery still cook, not oil, but the returning panel those truck bring back and the consumable material. For the battery we currently have, those truck carry peroxide and sulfuric acid powder.
Jet engine
The combustion chamber of jet engines could be swapped with a mini Tokamak spinning, heat up by microwave power up the plane. If the fusion is able to uphold, then the spin by magnetic force can be powered by the spinning Tokamak core. Fusion uses a gas that is lighter then air, heated up, giving what jet engine's combustion chamber was designed for. A starter in airport starting the fusion reactor then the plane is good to fly, to the moon?
I don't have to know if any of these night illusion I have would work or not, for now they are just my childish thoughts boring enough for a joke.
Global warming
The world is warming, ice cape is melting and the summer suit of the overly tanned finally get a chance to put on. In order to keep the difficulty level of ski slopes, just put some solar panel to give the snow a shade to chill out, they generate electricity, keeping pro ski and snow boarding too.
Solar panel
How come these sun glass panel consume slow, generate low and last long. My ideal panel would last a month, using consumable material and generate in high efficiency. Making gas station change to solar charge battery swap station become a possibility. Battery are kept cool in underground, recharge by high generating panel. The gasoline truck then deliver those lighter then battery itself solar panel to those charging station refilling consumed ones. Refinery still cook, not oil, but the returning panel those truck bring back and the consumable material. For the battery we currently have, those truck carry peroxide and sulfuric acid powder.
Jet engine
The combustion chamber of jet engines could be swapped with a mini Tokamak spinning, heat up by microwave power up the plane. If the fusion is able to uphold, then the spin by magnetic force can be powered by the spinning Tokamak core. Fusion uses a gas that is lighter then air, heated up, giving what jet engine's combustion chamber was designed for. A starter in airport starting the fusion reactor then the plane is good to fly, to the moon?
I don't have to know if any of these night illusion I have would work or not, for now they are just my childish thoughts boring enough for a joke.
Oct 1, 2008
Glucose
From the high school that I graduated almost a decade ago, Arcadia High School, there are requirements that I must fulfill in order to graduate, they are the swimming and writing proficiency tests. How do golfers pass those test?
For the swimming part, we all know what's going to happen because it took the time allowed for a swing in the water hazard of keeping the ball on tee above surface in order to pass. Hmmm, juicy and tender head cut of prime ribs, medium rare please.
About the writing part, an essay is required to pass not just the first half of the score card because of the legibility of the ultra fine micro hand writing trying to fit numbers in word form with the limited writing spaces available on it. Pros recommended to answer on ruled paper as follow: ......
(Note: Simple score is not in professional scope of concern, at lease not without the experiences together)
For the swimming part, we all know what's going to happen because it took the time allowed for a swing in the water hazard of keeping the ball on tee above surface in order to pass. Hmmm, juicy and tender head cut of prime ribs, medium rare please.
About the writing part, an essay is required to pass not just the first half of the score card because of the legibility of the ultra fine micro hand writing trying to fit numbers in word form with the limited writing spaces available on it. Pros recommended to answer on ruled paper as follow: ......
(Note: Simple score is not in professional scope of concern, at lease not without the experiences together)
Jul 19, 2008
Today is a nice and soft day
"Today I went to golf course trying to hit some leet show off ball to beat those ninjas down. But the agent who keep assing in front of me really pisses me off. That bitch took a few win from me, asshole that don't even dare to go one on one with me took my perfect win gosh! You think I am that easy and won't do shit against it? Then I plant those matrix guys with the secret bomb I special made for them. Now they afraid, ha ha. I take a win and you eat a lose, A LOSE!!!!!!HA HA!!!WA HA HA......"
The above are words in my mind that I should be thinking about when I was in driving range and I really hope that it will satisfied your dark side of prejudice.
I am new to this sport and have no idea about the fashion of people in it, sorry if I played it wrong. The club set is borrowed from a friend(a female, you know) and I haven't played enough to know the difference about clubs. I am just trying to swing the club in a way that give enough travel distance that feel great to hit the ball so that it will fly into the air than land on a target, and I can see different club's have different length of stick with different size and angled hitting surface. Could that be my weird swing, regular outfit or just pick anyone club selection that's provoking? May be I shouldn't just go try and play to see what its like and how its feel before learning some lessons like swing, pose, dynamic, balls, spin, slang, customs. I know it's me cause they all are just in my mind, and I am just there to have fun......in the driving range.
Intel's U.L.T......
Oh hey! At lease I learned something, this post is not so sincere like it seem to be, flavorless in beyond.
The above are words in my mind that I should be thinking about when I was in driving range and I really hope that it will satisfied your dark side of prejudice.
I am new to this sport and have no idea about the fashion of people in it, sorry if I played it wrong. The club set is borrowed from a friend(a female, you know) and I haven't played enough to know the difference about clubs. I am just trying to swing the club in a way that give enough travel distance that feel great to hit the ball so that it will fly into the air than land on a target, and I can see different club's have different length of stick with different size and angled hitting surface. Could that be my weird swing, regular outfit or just pick anyone club selection that's provoking? May be I shouldn't just go try and play to see what its like and how its feel before learning some lessons like swing, pose, dynamic, balls, spin, slang, customs. I know it's me cause they all are just in my mind, and I am just there to have fun......in the driving range.
Intel's U.L.T......
Oh hey! At lease I learned something, this post is not so sincere like it seem to be, flavorless in beyond.
Oct 28, 2007
CKO
This list characterise chief officials company foundation and valuable positions.
CAO - Chief Anger Officer - Starting from customer assist transforming to counter argue ends up in management, anger management.
CEO - Chief Entertainment Officer - Clown(motivate others) Con(Wordily and trickily) Lie detector(interpret appropriately) Lazy Ass(efficient effectively) Pimp(coordinate multiples, multitasking).
CFO - Chief Fuzzy Officer - On and on and so on with fuzzy logic.
CHO - Chief Hidden Officer - They are only by the coffee maker in the morning, next to the microwave by lunch and in the car about to exit the parking when you just step out of the front door everyday.
CIO - Chief Invisible Officer - The name on intercom that never pick up pages but do reply your email, always offline on IM list and never miss any assignment.
CMO - Chief Moore Officer - Equipped with the most advances office equipments to power up Solitaire or flash games.
COO - Chief Orthodox Officer - Amazing daily routine working schedule that never change with accuracy within minutes.
CTO - Chief Triathlon Officer - There is a weekly outdoor activities sign up board on the outside wall, this week skiing, next week bungee jumping, next hunting, next sky diving, next hiking, next paint balling, next snow board.......
CYO - Chief YouTube Officer - Insufficient blood supply to the brain from corner screen is best reinforced by YouTube video on the adjacent viewable screen.
Welcome to the Internet help desk
CAO - Chief Anger Officer - Starting from customer assist transforming to counter argue ends up in management, anger management.
CEO - Chief Entertainment Officer - Clown(motivate others) Con(Wordily and trickily) Lie detector(interpret appropriately) Lazy Ass(efficient effectively) Pimp(coordinate multiples, multitasking).
CFO - Chief Fuzzy Officer - On and on and so on with fuzzy logic.
CHO - Chief Hidden Officer - They are only by the coffee maker in the morning, next to the microwave by lunch and in the car about to exit the parking when you just step out of the front door everyday.
CIO - Chief Invisible Officer - The name on intercom that never pick up pages but do reply your email, always offline on IM list and never miss any assignment.
CMO - Chief Moore Officer - Equipped with the most advances office equipments to power up Solitaire or flash games.
COO - Chief Orthodox Officer - Amazing daily routine working schedule that never change with accuracy within minutes.
CTO - Chief Triathlon Officer - There is a weekly outdoor activities sign up board on the outside wall, this week skiing, next week bungee jumping, next hunting, next sky diving, next hiking, next paint balling, next snow board.......
CYO - Chief YouTube Officer - Insufficient blood supply to the brain from corner screen is best reinforced by YouTube video on the adjacent viewable screen.
Welcome to the Internet help desk
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